I’ve been plagued with the need to be sappy and arrange strings of maudlin words, so here it is. For you.
Because there’s scarcely anyone else to write to. Just kidding. You deserve this post more than any other human being on earth.
People come and go. That’s a given. And I have reached the point where I’m resigned to the fact that every human relations are temporary – they’ll leave, more often sooner than later.
Except when it comes to you, that is.
No, I’m not going to talk about how we met. It’s a common knowledge by now (or at least, it should be). And as out-of-the-world it was, it pales in comparison with the story of how we actually managed to stay friends through these past seven years. Seven damn years. Such a feat, no? And I’m not just talking about the time we spent as friends, Firenze. I’m talking about how we could still be such close friends even through everything that has happened during those seven long years.
Because a lot has happened.
And we’re no longer those two lovestruck naive teenage girls who came across each other on Twitter. Hasn’t been them for quite a long time, considering how often we laugh over how silly we were. We couldn’t be more different in a lot of things either. In paper, someone as steely as you are should’ve get tired of whiny me a long time ago. In paper, someone as determined as you are, who always ambitiously chase her dream and do her best to excel in everything, should’ve get bored of my overly laid-back and apathetic self years ago. In paper, you would’ve had no time for me and my demons because you had far more important and bigger demons to face. In paper, you and I does not match.
Yet, here we are. Against all odds, we found common grounds and stayed in each others life through thick and thin, through your bleakest days and the shittiest year of my life, through all the joyous time and pleasant moments, through all those prospective-romantic-partners who came and wreak havoc in our lives only to leave again, and through one existential crisis after another… we’re still going strong.
So know that, whenever I’m counting my blessings, you’re the first on my list. Know that there’s nothing else in the world I’m more grateful for than you (except, you know, this guy). Know that whenever I think of Jogja and coming home, I always think of you, my one constant who plays a huge part in making that city my home. Know that you will always have a friend on me, and that I’ll always do my best to be someone you can lean on. Know that I think you’re one of the brightest person I’ve ever met, and your train of thoughts never cease to amaze me. Know that I think you’re wonderful, eloquent, sharp, strong, beautiful, talented, and incredible. Know that you’ve always fascinated me with all your dreams and goals, and I wish one day you’ll be able to do it all – and then even some more. Know that your writings always enthralled me so. Know that it’s alright for you to break down when things are too much because I got your back. Know that sometimes I envy you because I know if you were in my place, you won’t make such a fucked up mess the way I did. Know that I think you deserve only the best things and nothing less. Know that I wouldn’t mind going Dalek on anyone who hurt you. Know that anyone other than Harry Styles would have a hard time getting my approval to even court you. Know that you’re one of the most important person in my life.
And know that I love you so.
Because I’ve been platonically in love with you as a friend for almost seven years now.
Nothing romantic and nothing sexual. Just one commitment to trade companionship and trust, trading ears to listen and arms to cry on and tough advices when the situations calls for it.
One commitment to be each other’s anchor and sanctuary no matter what life throws at us.
And if that’s not true love, Firenze, then I don’t know what is.
So remember, clever girl, that even when the world blows up to hell and Lucifer comes at us with his army of demons, even when human beings proved that they’re nothing more than a piece of shit, even when those October boys and December boys ruin our peace, even when Harry Styles is out with whoever his current winter girlfriend is and One Direction never release another album, even when you feel like a failure and a waste of air,
you have me.
And I won’t ever leave. Swear to God and I’m not even superstitious.
Because I do believe in Destiny and I know our friendship is written in his Book for two reasons: because it’s meant to be and it’s meant to last a lifetime.
Happy 23rd birthday, Raditha Firza
À la mort,
Je t’adore, ma chérie.
Few more days and I’ll be home, yeah?