We set foot in the Chateau of Desire with reckless abandon, as its golden eyes feed our forest fire. Turning wants into unabashed yearnings, lacing each tentative touches with endorphin and brought oyxytocin with every kisses. An inauguration to an addiction which swallowed us whole, until we no longer know where I ended and you began.
Then the high brought us to Delirium‘s playground, where she welcomed our furor with open arms. And in her giggly laugh we came to understand how nothing else matters but this increasing elation we derived from each other. Because moments are frivolous when it doesn’t contain the two of us. So to her blessings, we raise our glasses and let this delightful ecstasy claimed our sobriety.
Drunk out of our mind, we found ourselves in the garden of Destiny. Senses impaired, we blindly built our faith in him and his chained book of fate, quiescent in the knowledge that free will doesn’t exist. We relinquished our semblance of control, vehemently believing that this – us – was meant to be. For it is already written and events would unfold the way it’s supposed to be regardless of our actions.
And that, dear darling, is how we visit the Palace of Dream. Under his detached guidance we shaped vagaries to our will, based on our fantasies for happy ending. We spun our tales of “what if”s and “you’ll never know”, vividly imagining every scenarios with painstaking details. We deluded ourselves into expecting to come out of this unscathed, fingers intertwined, my heart in your sleeves and yours in mine.
Thus we sought the lost cave of Destruction, determined to armed ourselves with rage and grievance so we can lay waste to whatever dare to stand in our way. And as our path grew darker, we threw ourselves deeper into this mayhem with each atrocious obstacle we took down. We fought with nail and tooth, to the bloody end and the last of our worthless essences.
Until, beaten and worn, we staggered to the sanctuary of Despair. In her countless mirrors, our defeat took shape and we keeled over. Her slithering voice and sorrowful words assured us that we had lost. We had failed our quest so thoroughly and there is nothing left worth fighting for. And as her ring carved out our still beating hearts, we surrendered.
Now there’s only one last pantheon, standing tall at the edge of the world, beckoning me to come closer. Alone, before you came barging into my life and set this particular wheel in motion. After all, you’ve done your part in this excursion of ours and you’ve adopted Despair to replace me as your companion.
Au revoir then, darling, until we meet again in the warm embrace of our beautiful Lady Death.
À la mort,
I made the decision to dive in head first five months ago, and I’m still drowning. Even now.