Finally, I decided to write about something not college related for a change. Dan
agak galau. Oh well, yang penting nulis lah ya.
I’m the type of person that associate songs with memories (or in some cases, people) and Adhitia Sofyan’s In To You is not an exception. Some of you would know what memories I’m talking about, and would know that I often listen to the song with a bitter smile or a scoff.
Tapi entah kenapa, belakangan saya jadi suka ndengerin lagu itu lagi. Dan gak bisa gak senyum atau bahkan ketawa kecil tiap denger lagu itu.
And it’s quite….weird, to put it nicely.
Pertama, liriknya In To You itu galau banget. Galau dan menohok. Tipe galau yang bikin kesel setengah mati dan merutuki the fact that the opposite sex could be such an
Kedua, In To You (dan banyak lagu Adhitia Sofyan lain) itu identik dengan masa SMA. Or to be exact, a certain infatuation with a certain someone that did not fare too well and resulted in an awkward friendship – even until now. Needless to say, once you’ve read the lyrics, you’ll understand what kind of story it was.
So I’m a bit baffled with the fact that I’ve been listening to the song on repeat lately. With a smile.
True, it does have it’s own fair share of nice, happy, fluffy memories. But given the nature of the story, there’s still some part that make me cringe or embarrass me to no end. There are times when it reminds of me bitter memories. Times when I can’t help but to feel angry all over. Times when I can’t hold back the strings of curses and profanities that escape my mouth when I get reminded of how hard I fell, and how it ended. Times when, basically, I wish I could just go back in time and change the past.
I guess I’ve let go, though.
Of the anger and bitterness. Of the regrets that come after some bad decision making. Of the “what should have been” and “what could have been”. Of “I should have done this” and “he should have done that”. Of…everything.
And now all that I have left is the memories, and the smile that comes along with remembering it. Oh there’s still some embarrassing moment, but now I can laugh at it. And I rather not to dwell on it, to be honest. Kayak idup gue sekarang gak cukup galau aja *scoff*
Because as life goes on and you’ll spiral down the path of uncertainty, you can’t help but to find comfort at old memories.
On a side note, Adhitia Sofyan’s Apology has been reminding me of certain current events. Go figure.